The wedding planner for the rich says couples are spending too much on tradition

  • Lelian Chew is the founder of The Atelier & Co, a luxury wedding planning company based in Singapore.
  • She has done lavish weddings with extravagant destinations and million dollar dresses.
  • Chew said more young Asian couples are splurging on traditions to honor their cultural roots.

This spoken essay is based on a conversation with Lelian Chew, a luxury wedding planner in Asia. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I started my event planning business, The Atelier & Co, in 2013, planning luxury events and weddings for some of the biggest families in Asia.

As the scale of our weddings grew, they became more than just for the bride and groom, but also for their entire family and social circles.

It’s almost like marrying two conglomerates. We only have one shot to perfect it, and the stakes are incredibly high.

Transformation of spaces

Many think that when planning a million dollar wedding, the expenses are all about luxury items like dresses or expensive decorations, even though we get them every now and then.

For example, we once planned a wedding in which a bride wore a dress that cost over a million dollars. The dress was encrusted with jewels, making it look like a piece of jewelry.

However, the decorations that go into enhancing the space and experience take up a large part of the budget.

Harper’s Bazaar once described our weddings as “cinematic”, which I think is an apt description because when our guests walk into the venue, we want to make sure they feel like they’ve stepped into another world.

This requires meticulous attention to detail, from the floral arrangements to the color of the decor matching the couple’s vision.


Wedding in China

A large part of the budget goes to the transformation of the wedding venue.

The Atelier & Co



The logistical challenges and costs can add up quickly for destination weddings on remote islands. We once planned a wedding in the Maldives and had to fly or ship all our logistics, from furniture to cranes.

We also once had a Coachella-type party at the Jade Dragon Snow Mountain in Yunnan, China, where we had to fly all our guests in and build tents in the middle of a snow-capped mountain peak.

Entertainment is another key expense. It is not uncommon for clients to request a performance by world-renowned artists, as at the recent Ambani wedding. Whether it’s a singer, a band, or even a magician, these acts can cost a significant amount for just a few hours of entertainment.

Satisfying personal tastes

Then there are food and beverage costs, which can vary greatly depending on the customer. Not every wealthy family wants to serve the most expensive wines in the world. For some, it’s about sentimental value.

I have had clients who prefer to fly in chefs from their favorite restaurant or their home country to prepare a familiar meal rather than go for extravagance.

We also helped a client – a wine lover – find and buy a vineyard so he could serve his own label wine at the wedding.

When we receive unusual requests like this, it’s important that we don’t back down and help our customers however we can.

The focus of the new generation

Multiple generations are also involved, each with their own expectations for the wedding day. For the older generation, respect for traditions is essential.

For example, some traditional Chinese weddings have six different tea ceremonies to honor family elders.


Chinese engagement gift

Gifts presented in a traditional Chinese engagement ceremony.

The Atelier & Co



On the other hand, the younger generation is more focused on creating intimate, personalized experiences.

Many of my clients choose multiple events – a massive party at home to honor family traditions, followed by a smaller, more intimate destination wedding for their close friends and loved ones.

In recent years, I’ve noticed a shift in Asian weddings where younger generations emphasize keeping traditions in their weddings.

It’s no longer just about the Western-style white dress and exchanging vows. Couples incorporate traditional touches, unique to their cultural roots, into the grand event.

For example, it is common for the bride to have several wardrobe changes in addition to the standard white dress. For different events, she may wear other dresses that reflect her culture.

It has been inspiring to see this because it differentiates the weddings we do here in Asia from those happening around the world.

We have had the opportunity to incorporate cultural aspects into weddings, from traditional Indian ceremonies to Moroccan and Bangladeshi elements, making these events stand out and celebrate the rich traditions of Asia.

Many will flock to Lake Como or France for destination weddings, but I’ve always believed that choosing a place connected to culture makes the experience even more special.

For example, the wedding we planned atop Snow Jade Dragon Mountain in China was for a bride with deep cultural ties to the region. We involved local villagers in preparing a traditional feast, creating handmade furniture and performing local songs, making the event beautiful, deeply meaningful and authentic to the bride’s heritage.

Do you have a story to share about working with high net worth individuals? Email this reporter at lwee@insider.com.