- Krista Hall, 33, traces her mother’s whereabouts.
- Krista’s mother, Ann Schwartz, 68, also tracks Krista’s whereabouts.
- Krista doesn’t follow her mom every day, but having her mom’s location helps her make sure her mom is safe.
This essay is based on a conversation with Krista Hall. It has been edited for length and clarity.
I live about 45 minutes away from my parents now and still visit them often, but from 2011 to 2015, I only lived about 5-10 minutes away. If sirens went off near any of our houses, we’d always be like, “Hey, you okay? Everyone okay?” That’s the kind of family we are. I track my mother’s location because I want to know she is safe.
My mother is 68 years old, and she has always been a really great mother. Growing up, she was always a parent and tougher on me than my father. But she also did a great job balancing being a friend and a parent. My dad is a pilot, so even though he still found ways to be very involved in my life, when he left, my mom pretty much played the role of a single parent. We are very close even today.
I started using the Apple app “Find My”, which was then called “Find My Friends”, around 2014. I started downloading the app with my mother. At the time, my dad’s job required them to move out of state after I graduated college, and I just said, “Well, I need to know where you are.”
We have been jokingly trying to get my dad to join our family tracking system. I said, “You can see my location if I can see yours.” But he doesn’t like that.
I don’t check my mother’s location all the time
I’m an only child, so it’s just me and my mom using the Find My app to track each other’s location. I’m sure my mom tracks my location quite often – although I can live without knowing exactly how often she does. I only take a look at her location if my parents are traveling somewhere, or something is off.
For example, my parents were traveling this weekend and they had to reach their destination at 1 am. It was nice to wake up in the morning and see them safe in their hotel. Checking the app eliminated the need for me to ask if something was up, and I didn’t have to reach out to say “Hey, are you okay?”
My mother has cancer and is being treated for it. She also has some mobility issues so she is not traveling many places at this stage of her life. But once, my parents had to watch my son, and I realized that my mother’s appointment was taking too long. I looked up her location on the Find My app and discovered she was on the other side of the hospital complex in the ER.
I hadn’t heard back from them and when I checked back about half an hour later, I noticed she was still there. I thought it was weird, so I texted my dad to ask, “Is something going on?” She was fine, but she had collapsed in the hospital and they transferred her to the ER from her regular appointment to check on her and make sure everything was okay.
My mom used my location to check in with me and my son
Another time, I was on a trip with my son when he tripped and cut his head. My mom noticed we were in an urgent care and she reached over to ask what was going on. I didn’t have to call her to explain what happened because she knew we were there. I explained that it was fine and just needed stitches.
There was one time when I hadn’t heard from my mom all day during the most active cancer treatments. I turned to my dad to ask if he’d heard from her, and we had a miscommunication – he thought I was asking if he’d heard from her in the last hour, and I thought he was saying he hadn’t heard from her since he left for work in the morning. Her location indicated she was at home, so I knew she wasn’t with friends. I drove over to make sure she was okay and hadn’t fallen or been hurt in any way. Turns out she was on hold for a call and didn’t want to lose her place in line while I was trying to call.
But overall, being able to track my mom’s phone eases my anxiety. If something seems wrong and my mom isn’t answering her phone, I can easily check her location. I usually don’t have to take that extra step of physical checking.
My son is 2 so tracking his location is not a conversation yet. But when he can drive, maybe around age 16 or 17, I’d consider using a tracking app like Find My, just to make sure he’s safe. Depending on how old a child is, I don’t care what they do. I just want to make sure they come home at night.
Mentally, there’s a shift in your 30s and 40s with your parents where you really go from feeling like they’re taking care of you, to feeling like you’re taking care of them.